Living better with Niagara Hospice

I recently spent eight days in Eastern Niagara Hospital due to pneumonia and was sent home with a bottle of oxygen. Once I arrived home, I had an in home oxygen generator delivered and set up. I was now virtually house bound due to my difficulty in going up and down the steps to get into my home. I was limited in the amount of time I could be away from my home due to needing oxygen bottles whenever I went out.

My best friend suggested I call Niagara Hospice. It was a hard decision. I hesitated calling them because I thought that meant I was giving up. I would never give up!

My last experience with Hospice was when my father in law passed away from cancer. Since then, Niagara Hospice has changed their focus. Niagara Hospice has evolved since then to meet the increasing needs of the seriously ill and their families. Their goal is to prevent and ease suffering, reduce hospitalizations and trips to the ER, all while improving quality of life. All this is provided at no additional costs to eligible patients

Honestly, the only reason I even considered it was to help make my care easier for my wife. I thought by having someone else helping with my care, she could take it a little bit easier.

There are several criteria for Hospice to provide palliative care. They include cancer, whether or not the patient is undergoing active treatment with radiation or chemotherapy, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD), congestive heart failure (CHF), progressive neurological disorders, advanced Alzheimer’s disease or other dementia, repeated hospitalizations or emergency room visits, breathing problems, depression and exhaustion, sleeping problems or fatigue and late-stage illnesses. I qualified with my COPD, cancer and repeated emergency room visits.

I first called Hospice on Tuesday morning, January 21st. By that afternoon a social worker and an intake nurse arrived at my home. We talked and they evaluated me for their program. By that afternoon they called to tell me I was eligible. That Friday my assigned nurse came over for meet and greet and to get a baseline assessment.

During the first week, a United States military veteran appeared at my door. He brought me a nice, framed certificate from Hospice thanking me for my service. We swapped war stories for a while before he left. A spiritual care counselor also came over to discuss any religious issues or life concerns

On January 28th, an aide showed up to help me with my personal care. She now comes twice a week to assist me with that.

On Wednesday, January 29th I called Hospice because I thought I had a Deep Vein Thrombosis. I have had these before and knew how they felt. Hospice called Buffalo Ultrasound and by noon they showed up with a portable Doppler machine. They verified my suspicion. A script was called in that day and I was started on blood thinners.

On January 30th, I woke up very early in the morning and something just didn’t feel right. I was restless and couldn’t sleep. I felt the oxygen coming out of the nose piece was less than usual. Donna, my wife traced the hose looking for problems. She found a hose that was kinked on the tank that put humidity into the oxygen stream. I had her unkink it and the proper flow was recovered. Because it was 4:30 in the morning I had her wrap the hose with painter’s tape to strengthen it and prevent another kink. Due to the fact it was so early and we had temporarily solved the problem, I waited till later to call. In the morning, we called Hospice to tell them the problem. My nurse contacted the oxygen concentrator company and they arrived later that morning to replace the hose.

That afternoon, being a Thursday, my nurse came for her regularly assigned visit. She tried to flush my port but had difficulty. After 2 tries, she called her office to schedule “the expert”. The next day, another nurse came over and was successful.

Over that weekend, I developed a rash on my leg. I called my nurse on Monday and she came right out to look at it. She called my primary care physician who also came over after his office hours to diagnose the problem. It was decided it was a reaction to some medication. Steroids were called into my pharmacy to combat this reaction. It seems to me that every “cure” comes with it’s own set of problems.

I am now visited by a regularly scheduled social worker who comes over to check on me and see if I have any concerns.

Each and every Hospice representative I met was helpful, respectful and sensitive to my needs and wants. I truly appreciate their attitude and concern. They always have a smile on their face and are very responsive when we call. It seems to me that they are working for Hospice because they really are concerned and it is not just a job. They seem like friends we have had for a long time.

Never let the facts get in the way of a good opinion

We all have opinions about things and if it weren’t for them, I wouldn’t have very much to write about. We typically have an assortment of personal feelings. They can be formed with a complete lack of logic or reason that facts can never penetrate.

The process of repeatedly passing information from person to person can result in the unintentional formation of our beliefs. Our minds are hard-wired to categorize information and create mental shortcuts. This helps us to organize knowledge using a minimum of mental effort. It also provides us with a needed sense of structure to cope with an otherwise messed up world.

There are the famously opinionated “Monday morning quarterbacks” who will analyze every game and every play. They will tell you what the local sports team did wrong and how they would have played it. We have the Trump supporters and those that think he should be impeached. We also have the people that are religious and that know they are in the one faith that will get you to Jannah, Nirvana, Canaan, Elysium or whatever you call Heaven. Never argue with these people because it is a waste of time.

From time to time we might ask other people about their stance on an issue even if we don’t agree with them. Forming new beliefs to add to the ones you already have might interest you. Of course this doesn’t mean you can’t change your mind. Changing your outlook is a sign of personal growth, having an open mind and the willingness to see other sides of an issue.

The sound of two opposing thoughts clashing can be very exciting. This can cause the development of intense debates in a frantic attempt to support your own existing philosophies. In my humble opinion, it seems very unlikely that there will ever be a shortage of opinions because most people have at least one well founded viewpoint based on personal experience plus four or five others about things they know absolutely nothing about. This is evident whenever you hear a person watching the Bills on television, offering a barstool assessment on who should coach the team and how.  

I question all the opinions I now hear. Whenever I hear a new one, I handle it with skepticism, I check to see where it came from and listen it to see if it is ticking before I open it. Once it appears there is no problem, I fact check it and if it fails, I file the view point in the circular filing cabinet.

Working out which ideas are worthy of consideration and which are outright lies is now a full-time job as “fake news” is now used to undermine many assumptions. If the theory promoted seems to be from someone who has some expertise in the subject I will listen.

Convictions can be dangerous and having an incorrect belief might ruin your reputation. Voicing your opinion at the wrong time can also make you appear foolish. The old adage attributed to Abraham Lincoln goes, "It's better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt," and that seems to still hold true today.

However, when you hide your convictions to yourself, this can actually be more harmful than expressing them. As a matter of fact, opposing ideas are what fuel forward motion. Stating your opinion might make you appear more confident. Confidence never has been a bad thing to have.

A common reason that people may hold back on their thoughts is the thinking that their conviction doesn’t matter or that they won't be listened to. For example, if a person is troubled by a new company policy, they could hold their tongue because they think that they will be labeled a troublemaker. Nevertheless, you may have a valid point. If you speak up, you might make a difference.

Even if your point of view isn't taken seriously, what you mentioned can still encourage an important debate.  The argument you make may not have been thought of up until then. If you offer a possible solution it may still be decided that your idea isn't worth investigating. But your opinion might encourage some new perspectives about the subject. Discussion frequently precedes results and the more thoughts that are promoted in a discussion the better and quicker you might see results.

If you're wrong, you're wrong. Perhaps your outlook is invalid, or that you think that there's something "off" about it. If you want to find out just state it. The other people around you will let you know. If you are wrong admit it and don’t beat a dead horse. None of us is perfect.

You might express what everyone else is thinking but just too afraid to say. Occasionally people are afraid to state their views because they don’t think they are valid. If you voice your position, you might just present an idea that everyone can agree on.

But that’s just my opinion.

An Old Friend

An old buddy stopped by my house the other day. He came over because I got in touch with him due to a series of challenges I had personally taken on. This task was to contact an old friend. Just connecting with him was an undertaking because he had dropped his land line which was the only phone number I had for him. I checked his Facebook page to no avail but finally found his brother’s number. I talked to his sister-in-law who gave me his new cell number. Now we were cooking.

I have known him for over four decades. Donna and I used to go to his home on weekends to go swimming in his pool. He and I had built a deck off the back of his house. This had a platform that overhung the side of the pool for diving. We used to have cookouts for dinner and the two of us would go out to a farmer’s field and pick corn for roasting. I hadn’t seen this buddy in quite a few years so we spent about two hours catching up with each other.

We talked about the weather and the recent wind storm. If you are from Western New York, you always talk about the weather. I showed him our new bedroom addition on the back of our house and he loved it. He appreciated the fact that it looked as if it has been there forever. He liked the floors, the en-suite bathroom with a walk in shower and elevated toilet. He loved the walk in closet, the pocket door, the number of outlets I had the electrician put in (22 of them in the bedroom alone) and even the magnetic doorstop. I put in a lot of thought when I was designing this space.

His son has now grown and has given him a grandson and his son lives just around the corner from my son, small world. My buddy is a very proud grandfather. His grandson is as cute as can be and looks just like his father. We told him about the exploits of our own grandchildren, discussed our children and many other things.

We talked about banks and online banking (he is for it, I’m not). According to the FDIC, the national average interest rate on savings accounts currently stands at 0.09% so I don’t see any compelling reason to keep money in a bank.

He is a Vietnam Era veteran just like I am but we didn’t discuss politics. Politics and religion are the two subjects I refuse to discuss.

We chatted about what we were doing now. About how I blog and write articles for newspapers and even get a few of them published internationally. I told him about the article I had written, a sarcastic piece on the song “Baby it’s cold outside” and the radio stations that refused to play this classic winter song. It caused such a turmoil that I no longer write for the online paper where it was first published. However, it was distributed elsewhere without a problem. This song has gotten a politically correct remake this year by John Legend and Kelly Clarkson.

My buddy now drives a school bus and boy, did he have a few stories to tell! My wife asked him about passing a stopped school bus and did she ever hit a hot button! He told us about the people that blast past his bus as he is discharging kids and indicated his experience was not uncommon. We must have chatted about this subject for at least a half an hour.

According to the New York State DMV website, a majority of school bus related injuries and deaths happen when children are crossing the street after being dropped off by the bus, not by collisions involving school buses. There is nothing you are doing, there is no place you are going, that is worth injuring a child.

He wasn’t aware that a mutual friend of ours had passed so we informed him about it. It’s sad how we lose track of our friends and loved ones over the years. I also updated him on another person, Ed, which we both knew. We go out to dinner with Ed monthly.

Our twin grandsons were spending the day at my house due to the schools being closed and were playing upstairs but you wouldn’t know it. I called them down to the living room and they introduced themselves and shook my buddy’s hand. After they went back up to play, my buddy remarked what polite, well behaved young men they were.

Our visit was very, very enjoyable and when he left it was like we hadn’t lost any time at all. Unfortunately, he had to leave and go do his afternoon bus run. I hope he comes over again soon and often. Next time I encourage him to bring his son, his son’s wife and of course, his grandson.

Norb is an internationally published writer and blogger from Lockport New York,

Mariner's Landing

Another weekend another restaurant. This time my wife Donna, my buddy Ed and I decided to hit up the Mariner’s Landing restaurant in Olcott. It had been about a year and a half since I had been there so it was about time for a return trip. They have been open for over 18 years at their present location. It is unusual for a restaurant to be open this long so they must be doing something right. We entered the restaurant and saw the décor hadn’t changed much since the last time we were there.

They had paneled walls, a couple fireplaces and ample windows that would let in sunlight during the daytime. They also had a nautical based motif with several model ships, lighthouses and sailor figurines on the high shelves that went all around the dining room. There were a few fish tanks with several small fish swimming around to add to the calming atmosphere.

The hostess told us to sit anywhere and we selected a table near the door. The table was set with real tablecloths but they ruined it by having paper place mats. I haven’t seen a tablecloth in a restaurant for several years and it was a nice touch. The server brought our menus and took our drink order. My wife had her usual water with lemon, Ed had a glass of wine and I chose a Coke with light ice (2.50) and she headed off to get them.

When she returned with our drinks, she took our order. My wife selected the fried oyster appetizer (8.95) for her dinner and Manhattan clam chowder (3.95). Ed selected the salmon special with a bourbon/maple glaze and sautéed vegetables. I selected the New England clam chowder (3.95) and the Fried Seafood Platter (23.95). This contained shrimp, scallops, a stuffed clam and a 10 OZ piece of Islandic cod.   I had an option of several sides and selected a baked potato with sour cream.

Shortly after we ordered, the server showed up with a basket of warm bread and some butter. The butter was soft which I highly appreciate.

My wife’s Manhattan clam chowder had a robust tomato taste and her fried oysters were scrumptious. She also asked for a cup of cocktail sauce on the side. The oysters were moist and tender and the coating did not fall off of them. I could have eaten them all night.

My clam chowder was very creamy and rich with diced potatoes and chunks of clams throughout. Everything on my Sea Food Platter was delicious. Everything was cooked properly and I even had to bring some home for lunch the next day.

Ed’s salmon had a maple glaze that blew my mind. The pairing of the tender and flakey salmon with the maple glaze was phenomenal. I would have never thought that it would work so well. Ed pronounced it perfect. Dinner was delish.

Our server was the Lisa and was quite pleasant, quickly answering any questions I had about the menu. She stopped by frequently to see if everything was OK with our meal.

The food was great, the ambiance perfect and we had a good time. Prices were reasonable and portions were ample. We would have liked to have tried desserts, but we were too full from the meal. We are looking forward to returning and trying other menu items, but I will probably always order the clam chowder.

However there was one downside. I had occasion to use the men’s room and this is definitely not ADA compliant. The first door had a knob on it and when I turned it, it felt funny. As I opened the door I found out why. There was no latch mechanism or even an inside doorknob, just holes where they should have been. This door opened into a small vestibule with another door. When I tried to close that door, it kept hitting on the first door’s automatic closer arm, bad planning. When I opened the stall, the only way you could enter was to step over the bowl. Talk about the bathroom from hell. If you plan on dining there just, don’t plan on using the bathroom.

Mariner’s Landing;

1540 Franklin St in Olcott, New York.
Phone number is (716) 778-5535

Their hours are:
Wednesday and Thursday 4 – 9 PM
Friday and Saturday 4 – 10 PM
Saturday 12 – 8 PM.

I give them an 8 out of 10 spoons because of the bathroom.

I am looking forward to our next dining adventure.

Customer (dis)Service

Customer Service: (noun) the assistance and advice provided by a company to those people who buy or use its products or services.

I start this article with a definition for those of you that don’t know what customer service is. It seems to me that the whole concept of customer service is being lost in society.

I recently had a chat with someone about just this very same thing and she told me she used to take her mother shopping at Flora Hatch. Her mother would sit in the changing room and tell the sales person what they were looking for, “a red dress for Saturday night” or “Something comfortable for the summer.” The clerk would go and select a few things matching what she wanted and would bring them to her to try on. Try that at a discount department store! You would be lucky to even find an “associate”.

She also complained about trying to shop at a local “Big Box” store. She said she had to chase down a clerk who told her “That’s not my department.” When she finally found the right person, it seemed to her that she had as much knowledge about the products as they did.

A few times I needed work done on my home. My house roof was leaking so I called several local roofing companies. I like to try and spend my money locally in Lockport. Over half of them didn’t bother to return my call.  Apparently the owners were wealthy enough that they didn’t have to work anymore. I ended up with a roofer out of Buffalo.

When I wanted to put an addition on my house, I called many of the people in the Lockport phone book (Yes there are still a few of us that use a phone book). Most of the people I called didn’t give me the courtesy of a response. I ended up getting a contractor from Lancaster.

I needed a piece of siding replaced on the back of my house Two guys showed up and looked at what I needed and said they would get back to me. I never heard from them again. Despite my best efforts to hire someone locally, I ended up calling my guy to get the job done right.

The garage wiring shorted out and we had no power in it including to the garage door opener. Back to the phone book. Out of the eight people I called, three responded, two who said they would try to send someone out in the next couple of weeks to “look at” the job. I finally found a local company to do the job.

I wanted two doors and storm doors replaced on my house. Out of all the people I called, including some that advertise on television, just a few got back to me saying that the job was too small for them. I guess my money wasn’t green enough for them.

A recent Saturday I needed an emergency electrical repair. My heat was out. I pulled out the phone book once again started dialing. I started those that had ads saying they had 24/7 emergency service. I left messages on several machines and finally called a place that utilized an answering service. I explained my situation and the person on the other end of the line was very empathetic and said they would call the “technician" and get back to me within a half an hour.

Two hours later I called them back and asked what was up. She said that they were still trying to get ahold of the technician and they would call me back in a half an hour. I was starting to think this was their stock answer. I called my daughter and, she lined up an electrician out of Elma. After two days of freezing at night and finally getting the problem repaired, the 24/7 people started returning my calls.

 I take a prescription I can only get out of state. I called them up because I was running low and they told me I needed a new script. So I called my doctor to have one sent to them. Finally a whole day later and one day closer to running out, I called the out of state pharmacy and they said they had received the script. They then asked I wanted to have this filled. Well no…. I was just calling to see what the weather was where they were located.

So I finally got the prescription filled, or so I thought. A few hours later they called back to inform me that the delivery date had been moved back by a day. I’m even closer to reaching the bottom of my pill bottle. Two hours after that, a different person called me to see if I wanted to schedule a delivery of my drugs. I calmly explained that delivery was already scheduled so they checked their computer and told me I was right. I told them to have a nice day and hung up. Then at 8:30 that night someone else called and we went around this one more time. When they asked if I had any questions, I was tempted to ask why they were so inept.

Good Help is Hard to Find

I ran a handyman type business part time for 35 years until health problems caused me to quit. I put an ad in the paper for just one week and was as busy until the day I closed it out. It surprised me that I would be so busy but in retrospect I now know why.

My customers would pass my name around to their friends and family because I treated then like I wanted to be treated. Apparently this concept has gone the way of black and white television and rotary dial telephones. I have now reached the age where I am the one that needs some help.

I sided my house several years ago but a wind storm caused one piece to come loose. I called several people and the first person that showed up nailed it back up with the nail heads showing, but the next windstorm we had the nails pulled thru the siding, leaving holes. So he went on the “S” list and tried again.

One man showed up in the back seat of a car driven by a relative. He looked over the job and asked if I had a ladder to get up there. What? You don’t have a ladder?  He then said would have to go on the internet to see how to do the repairs I needed.  Another entry to “the list”. Finally I had a man from Lancaster do the job and he did it the right way. It hasn’t blown off since. 

One day, the automatic garage door opener stopped working. Investigation revealed that the underground wiring I had installed over thirty years ago had shorted out. Because I had a concrete patio installed right over the in ground conduit, I decided to call an electrical contractor to install a new underground feed. They dug up my yard, burrowed under the sidewalk and put the new wiring into the back of my garage instead of the side where I had originally installed it.

Shortly after that, after it had snowed, my wife came into the house and asked if there should be sparking where the old wiring entered the garage wall. I looked out the window and saw that the siding was melted and had black marks on it. I quickly ran to the basement and shut off the circuit breaker before my garage and two inside vehicles burned up. If it wasn’t for the fact that there was snow piled up against the wall, I probably would have lost the building and my cars.

Seeing as they were a licensed electrical contractor, I never inspected the job they had done. I figured they would do it right and to code.  Wrong! My investigation of this problem revealed the old wiring had never been disconnected and they didn’t install the National Electrical Code required disconnect. So I called them and read them the riot act including quoting the specific code they violated when they wired my garage.

I told them they had two choices. The first one was fixing the problems including replacing the burned and melted siding or I would report them. They were out the next day to repair the wiring.

I needed my gutters cleaned. I called several people that were recommended on Facebook but only one showed up. I would have called them Curley, Larry and Moe but I think Moe was still in prison. They did do what I asked. They cleaned the gutters but left the downspouts as plugged tight as a duck's arse. I didn’t find this out until the next time it rained and they all overflowed. My list is getting longer.

I wanted my exterior doors replaced. They had been here since 1919 and they wouldn’t close in the summer and leaked so bad in the winter that the breeze would blow out a candle. One person showed up, a large company that advertises on the television. They gave me a price but because my doors were oversize doors, they would only install a standard door leaving a 4” gap at the top for me to deal with. I am running out of paper. Finally I found a person to do what I wanted. Replace 2 doors, two storm doors and all for the low, low price of $6000.

I wanted a digital thermostat installed in my master bedroom suite. So again I went to Facebook for suggestions. A man contacted me and we agreed he would come over the next day. When he arrived, he had our new thermostat and his tools in a plastic “Tee shirt” bag.

I left the room and sat in the living room when I heard a zap, saw sparks and all the lights went out in the bedroom. So I got up to see if he was laying on the floor. Four and a half hours later, after several zaps, damns and f bombs and after he reinstalled the old thermostat that was not working now, I told him to go home. He took some of the pieces with him and left a pile of spare parts. My list gets even longer.

It was cold that night and it’s going to be a cold for a few more nights. We still have no heat.

Exercise your mind

I do Sudoku puzzles, crossword puzzles and write 7 days a week 52 weeks a year. I feel that keeping my brain healthy is as important as keeping my body healthy. I recently found some support for this opinion.

The Daily Mail reports that doing Crosswords and Sudoku could keep your brain up to ten years younger. They stated that doing a puzzle every day might have a “dramatic effect” on your memory and help to ward off dementia as you get older.

The Mail reports that joint studies were done by the University of Exeter and King’s College, London. This involved participants that were between 50 and 93 years old. The participants took an online survey, reporting how often they did these types of puzzles, as well as tests to measure the changes in their brain function.

This research concluded that doing a puzzle every day could lower your brain age by up to a decade. According to a study, published in the International Journal of Geriatric Psychiatry, people over 50 can improve their brain function by completing word games. 19,100 people took part in this research, and they were tested on their attention, memory, and reasoning and were asked how frequently they did puzzles. Findings showed that those who did these puzzles performed better in tests, and had a lower ‘brain age’ than those who didn’t. The difference in brain function was ten years for those who worked on the puzzles regularly and an eight-year difference for short-term memory.

I find that writing stimulates long forgotten memories. I call this opening the “file cabinets of my mind”. As soon as I open a drawer, hundreds of memories come pouring out. Memories of people I knew and things I did. Memories from my childhood right thru last week.

Sometimes they come so fast, this hunt and peck typist has trouble writing them all down. Frequently when the memories stop, I find I have written 1500 words or more. Now comes the job of paring it down to an acceptable size. I try to cut it to 800 to 900 words and save much of what I remove for another day. I frequently tell my wife that I have a 25 year old mind in a 70 year old body.

Dr. Anne Corbett, senior author of the Daily Mail studies, said: “Most of the people involved in the research did crosswords or Sudoku every day, which exercises the memory and improves problem-solving abilities and focus.” The theory behind these results is that the brain is just like anything else in the body. Continuing to use your mind and not vegging out will improve it’s capacity and adaptability.

The brain has a lot of connections that we need to use regularly doing activities like puzzles. It’s the old “use it or lose it” theory. We don’t really comprehend though if people like doing puzzles because they possess a higher level of brain function or if their mental function improves due to the fact they are solving puzzles.

Some people say that what is good for your heart is also good for your brain. This means you can lessen your risk of dementia by having a balanced, healthy diet, maintaining a healthy weight, exercising regularly, keeping alcohol use to a minimum, and quitting smoking. I quit smoking after 45 years and I never felt better. I think that maintaining social connections with your friends and family might also reduce cognitive decline.

The brain controls many things like memory, making decisions and much more. These cognitive abilities can affect how we are able to perform everyday tasks and if we can live independently. Changes in thinking as people age are normal. Older adults could have problems with multi-tasking, difficulty finding words and recalling names and decreased ability to pay attention. However, as a person gets older, certain parts of the brain shrink, particularly those areas that are important to learning and other complex mental activities. This doesn’t mean you cannot learn new things. You can teach an old dog new tricks!

I changed careers at 60, taking a job that I had absolutely no experience in or training for. I love a good challenge and just figuring out how to do this job made me feel younger. To do this job, I had to write PowerPoint training modules, something I had never done before. Not only was I able to write them for my job but other supervisors asked me to write modules for them. The last time I attended college, I went to UB when I was 62. Since then, I have received several certificates and diplomas from online courses including from NCCC and the University of Central Florida.

There is increased scientific evidence that the mind does not remain static but is able to take on new challenges as people age. It is not exactly clear why certain people think just as well when they get older and others don’t but exercising your brain is very important.

You can reach Norb at Nrug@juno.com. If he doesn’t answer you right away, he is probably trying to find his glasses.